


Hero

by stereobone



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-22
Updated: 2014-02-22
Packaged: 2018-01-13 10:48:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1223491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stereobone/pseuds/stereobone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"We're not heroes," he says. "We're only men."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hero

They don't speak in the carriage. Levi sits across from Erwin, arms and legs crossed, and stares out the window at the passing night. He can feel Erwin's eyes on him and it's a struggle not to look over at him, but Levi's pride still gets the best of him at times. He already knows he's in trouble, now he's just making it worse. The carriage jerks to a stop and he's opening the door before Erwin can even move. He waits just outside for Erwin, because even pissed Levi still respects Erwin as his superior. He knows how far he can push him and how often. Once Erwin joins him, they walk up the steps together. Levi is already itching his jacket—a dark, long formal wear, the kind for parties. Without his gear on, he feels strangely naked, and the knowledge of what's on the other side only makes him feel more so. He can hear everyone talking, their voices lulled together like a symphony. Erwin opens the door to the building and everything only amplifies. Levi starts to walk away but Erwin stops him, hand on his arm.

"Do I have to tell you to behave?" he says, eyes focused elsewhere.

Renewed anger prickles under Levi's skin. He shakes Erwin's grip off.

"I don't know, do you?" he says. "I'm just getting a drink."

Separating from Erwin turns out to be a mistake. Before Levi can make it to the wine table, a group of men and women surround him, murmuring to one another. They're dressed very nicely, probably nobles. Their eyes are hungry, faces powdered. It makes Levi feel like some kind of animal, the way they watch him so openly. Like they're going to pick him apart.

"You're Levi, aren't you?" one man says. He's balding, pudgy. " _The_ Levi? Humanity's Strongest?"

"Sure," Levi says.

Their eyes run over his body, appreciative, judging.

"My goodness," a woman says. "But you're so short."

There's a bit of a hush in the circle. Levi's used to these kinds of encounters. He's never what people expect—too short, too high-strung. They're always left looking at him like he's let them down somehow. The nobles are watching him like they expect some sort of answer for his height, but Levi has none to give.

"You're in my way," he says, and the circle slowly breaks so he can walk through.

He pours himself a glass of wine, aware that others are watching him, maybe too afraid to approach. Levi drains half the glass and focuses on the bitter taste of it. This is nothing like they'd get in the underground. He looks around and sees Erwin not twenty feet away, chatting with some well-dressed couple, but his gaze falls easy to him, and Levi knows he's been watching him the whole time.

He remembers how the fight started.

\--

"It's politics," Erwin had said.

Levi looked down at him.

"It's bullshit."

Erwin made an exasperated noise, the kind he made whenever Levi was testing his nerves. He was sitting down still, bolo tie loose, and Levi wanted to reach across the desk and grab it, haul him forward.

"Be that as it may," Erwin said. "It is important that I go. You know public opinion of us isn't very high. We need all the support we can get."

And Levi did know that, he was all too aware, but still.

"So why the hell am I going?"

"Because they asked for you." Erwin finally stood up. "You know what they're calling you, don't you?"

Levi grit his teeth. He knew damn well what they'd been calling him, has heard whispers of it on the street. He didn't know where it had come from, but he didn't want the title. Erwin had gone to these sorts of soirées before, nonsense parties the government put on for higher-ups in the military and fat nobles so that they could pretend the world wasn't stewing in its own shit. Levi hated the idea of them, hated that Erwin had to go them. He certainly hadn't planned on going to one. The thought of those people looking at him, anticipating him, was something Levi didn't want to deal with.

"I'm not going," he said. "If they want to see me they can come on an expedition."

It stung a bit to see the surprise on Erwin's face. Levi couldn't remember a time when he'd told Erwin no and really meant it. Less than a year had passed since he joined the Survey Corps, and there were still times when they had to feel each other out, grow to understand.

"Levi." Erwin rounded the desk and took hold of Levi's chin, eyes questioning. "Why are you so upset?"

He was being so calm and sensible that Levi only got more upset. He didn't see how he could explain to Erwin why he didn't want to go, not when Erwin was counting on him for that very reason. He didn't want to.

"I just don't want to go," Levi said. "I don't want to be around those snooty, ignorant bastards. I don't answer to them."

Erwin's hand dropped from chin. "No, but you do answer to me…"

"So what, we just dress up for them? Let them pick us apart? You're better than them, Erwin, they don't—"

"Levi," Erwin said, voice strained to remain calm. "Don't make me order you."

Levi bit his tongue hard, but it still didn't stop him from speaking out.

"This is _bullshit,_ Erwin."

Erwin only brushed passed him, opened his office door. He held it open and Levi understood that Erwin wanted him to leave. He hadn't ordered him to go, and Levi knew he wouldn't, but he also knew he had no choice either way.

"Be ready in two hours," Erwin said. "Our carriage leaves at eight."

Levi stormed passed him, shoulders tensed, and barely turned to acknowledge Erwin's statement.

"I'll be ready," he said, teeth clenched.

Erwin held his gaze, steely. "Good."

\--

He's finished two glasses of wine when the alcohol starts to hit him. It's a pleasant feeling, one he hasn't experienced in a long time. Levi hasn't been doing much else besides stand by himself near the wine, eyes in slits, mouth turned down. People have been too intimidated to really approach him, and he's fine with that. The only thing he's been actively doing besides drinking is ignoring Erwin's gaze. He caught it once and Erwin had a sort of determined, hungry look in his eyes, like Levi was really pushing it. Levi just continued to drink. He's so caught up in avoiding Erwin that he nearly misses when the man approaches him.

He's tall and older looking, hair sandy, eyes shiny in a tired sort of way. Levi looks at him from the side, pours another glass of wine.

"What?" he says.

The man smiles. "They said you'd be here, but I almost didn't believe it."

He takes the wine cask and pours a glass for himself.

"You know, you're not what people expected."

"They shouldn't expect anything," Levi says.

The man laughs. "Well, they do. My son, you know, he admires you quite a bit. Says he wants to join the Survey Corps when he's old enough."

Levi can hear the hesitation in his voice, the quiet bitterness.

"You don't want him to," he says.

"He'll be old enough to make his own choices by then." The man pauses to drink. "But I hope it'll be the right one. We're safe in here. He shouldn't throw his life away for a lost cause. Being a hero isn't all it's made out to be."

Through the light haze of the wine, Levi's anger reignites.

"Yeah, right, especially with you assholes in here getting fat and drunk while my men risk their lives."

The waspish tone in his voice is unmistakable, and the man frowns, lips stained red from the wine.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me," Levi says. "You think you're safe in here—for how long?"

There's a stutter, but he doesn't give the man a change to reply.

"You give your son a choice and he'll make the best one he can." Levi drains the rest of his wine. "I'm not saying it'll be the right one, but I'd rather die in a Titan's jaw than be a delusional piece of shit behind the walls."

The man's face drops, mouth open.

"How dare you," he says. "You're all fools, aren't you? Only a bunch of maniacs would do something so reckless."

He flips on his heel and stalks away, shoulders tight in an obvious show of anger and aggression. Levi looks up for Erwin on instinct, and Erwin is already walking over to him. He wonders how long Erwin watched the exchange. There's an officer from the Garrison walking with him, though he seems slightly more oblivious to what's just happened. Levi remembers meeting him once during a trial, but he doesn't remember his name. He twists his empty glass between his fingers.

"Levi," Erwin says, and stops in front of him. "Everything well?"

He's not asking about Levi's health. It's obvious from his eyes that he's disappointed, but maybe also expected this, and Levi isn't sure which one he hates more.

"Everything's fine," he says.

"Seems like you've been dodging fans all night," the Garrison officer says. He holds out a hand. "We've met before but not formally: Captain Warsan."

Levi accepts his hand and they shake. "Levi," he says.

"I know," Warsan says. "I saw you in action once during a training exercise. You were amazing. And that backhand grip?"

Warsan whistles low, nudging Erwin like he should be proud.

"You learned that in the slums, didn't you?"

Levi's fingers tense around his empty glass. Warsan doesn't notice, but Erwin does. He takes a small step between them, like Levi might lunge.

"Levi is an invaluable addition to our fight against the Titans," he says. "He's an excellent soldier."

"More than excellent," says Warsan. "Humanity's Strongest…what a title. The Garrison would kill to get their hands on you. I know I would."

Levi would sooner live in filth than join the Garrison, especially with this clown, but Erwin is next him and Levi is angry still and the wine has made his head cloudy.

"I'm sure you would," he says, voice low.

There's a flicker of possessiveness in Erwin's eyes, so subtle that no one but Levi could notice it. Erwin slides that much closer to him, a shield, and Levi knows their night here is about to end.

\--

As soon as the carriage pulls away, Erwin is leading Levi into his office with a tight grip on his arm. The force of his hand thrills Levi a little bit, more than a bit drunk now. He's disappointed when Erwin lets go of him once they're in his office. He shuts the door. He locks it. Erwin isn't looking at him. Levi feels the sudden need to apologize, but he doesn't. What he says is, "Don't tell me you're jealous of that Warsan clown."

Erwin starts pulling his jacket off, shoulders rippling.

"Undress and lay on the couch."

Levi hesitates. He's still standing by the door, feet unsteady. Erwin folds his jacket and looks back at him.

"Levi," he says, and Levi stops hesitating.

He undresses with his skin prickling, throat tight. This is something they've done before. There's a dynamic to it that Levi forces himself not to think about, the way he lets Erwin take complete control, discipline him. The way he gives himself entirely. The way he wants it. Levi folds his clothes and puts them on the table, sits naked on the couch, hands in his lap. His skin is already flush from the alcohol. Erwin comes over to him with oil in hand, still dressed. Powerful.

"Do you know how much you've tested me tonight?" he says.

He puts the oil on the floor and kneels in front of Levi. He puts both hands on Levi's knees and Levi spreads his legs, automatic.

"Yeah," he says.

Erwin's thumbs press into the tender underside of his knees.

"Are you going to tell me why?"

Levi shivers, exposed, cock hardening.

"I told you I didn't want to go."

"But that's not it," Erwin says.

He pulls Levi down by his knees until his ass is nearly hanging off the couch. Levi scrambles to grab hold of the cushions so he doesn't slide off completely. Erwin lets go of his knees but Levi knows better than to drop them. He rests the soles of his feet on Erwin's shoulders, knees still bent. Erwin is looking right at him, but not at his face. He's watching the hot furl of Levi's hole and Levi's face is burning. Erwin dips his fingers into the oil without looking away. At the first touch of Erwin's finger, Levi twitches. He slides one in, then another not long after, the stretch of them almost painful.

"What did that man say to you?" Erwin says, conversational, like he isn't fucking Levi with his fingers.

"Which one?"

Erwin's hand twists up. Levi nearly rips the couch cushions, he's gripping them that hard.

" _Fuck_ …he told me his son admired me."

Erwin slows a bit in his movements now, gentle, massaging, a reward.

"Many people do," he says.

"They shouldn't," Levi says.

Erwin's head cocks. "No?"

He starts to pick up a bit, fingers sliding in and out, each time prodding and searching until he finds a spot that has Levi's legs trembling. He stays there and hammers at it, relentless.

"I'm gonna come," Levi says, tightening. "You're— _Erwin_ —"

"So come," Erwin says.

And he does. Levi tosses his head back and comes all over his chest, toes curled. Even after his orgasm, Erwin his still fucking him with his fingers, almost leisurely now. Levi doesn't let go of the couch. He's afraid he'll fall if he does.

"How much did you drink tonight?" Erwin says.

He still hasn't pulled out and Levi is finding it difficult to get his bearings back, distracted by Erwin's fingers and the dizziness of his head. Erwin's question barely registers.

"What the hell," he says. "I wanted your cock."

"You don't deserve that yet," Erwin says.

 _Yet,_ like maybe Levi can earn it. He's really not letting him off easy tonight. Levi wonders if maybe the crack about Warsan was a bit too far. He's always pushing Erwin, knowing what the result will be, testing the boundaries. Overstimulation starts to set in and Levi squirms away from Erwin's fingers, a dull tingling still set in his pelvis. Erwin grabs the back of his thigh and holds him there.

"I didn't say you could move."

So Levi stills. Even with his nerves on fire, he wants to prove to Erwin how much he can obey. Erwin knows he'll tell him if it's too much. He slips his fingers out but they don't go far—they circle around his hole, warm with oil. Levi breathes easier, but not much.

"That's better," Erwin says. "You were quite disobedient tonight."

Levi bites the inside of his lip, holding stubborn. "Did I make it difficult for you to enjoy your party, Captain?"

Erwin's fingers tease against his hole and Levi's muscles contract. Just when he thinks Erwin won't, he does. He pushes his fingers back in, this time adding a third and Levi is more than loose enough for it.

"Okay, fuck, I'm sorry," he says. "I can be good, please, I can be good."

"But you like when I punish you." Erwin's hand is pressed flush against him and Levi's cock is starting to stir again. "You're already so good for me, Levi."

He's picked up his pace again, and at this point Levi's vision is spotty and his speech is starting to slur. Now it's Erwin pushing him, Erwin driving him to the edge, right there with him.

"But you need to tell me things," he says. "You need to let me in."

Laughter bubbles up Levi's throat because it's absurd and he feels absurd, here on Erwin's couch, wanting nothing more than for Erwin to pull him back down. He feels too full, too stretched out, and then there's nothing to do but talk.

"I don't want it," he says, hazy, unsure of his own speech. "I don't want their title, I don't want to be Humanity's Strongest."

Erwin doesn't let up, but his expression changes. He looks like he's trying to understand.

"You won't let them down."

Levi shakes his head, because that's only part of it.

"I don't care about them—I don't—"

"You won't let me down," Erwin says, getting it now, that Levi never wanted this responsibility, not any of it.

Levi pauses and takes a deep, heaving breath, stomach muscles jumping.

"Erwin," he says, and then is reaching for him like Erwin might disappear. "Erwin…Erwin…"

"I've got you." Erwin pushes his hands down, strokes his forehead. "Breathe."

"I _am_ breathing."

But he's not, not properly at least. Levi swallows, collects himself as much as he can.

"You don't have that pressure here," Erwin tells him. "Not with me. You've already done more for me than you know, Levi."

He pulls his fingers out, and all Levi can do is breathe. Erwin tugs at his belt, nodding.

"On your hands and knees."

Levi obeys with loose limbs, head bowed down, waiting with his cock hanging heavy between his legs. He's not fully hard yet, but he wants this, has been waiting for it. Erwin only pulls off his pants and boots. He plants his foot on the couch, the other on the floor, and holds Levi there with his hands on his hips. Levi groans when Erwin fucks into him, reaching up with one hand to grab the top of the couch for more support. He's earned this.

"That's it," Erwin says. "You're okay."

And Levi knows he's okay, but something in Erwin's voice makes him feel hysterical, like Erwin trusts him just as much as Levi does him. He shudders all over, the hard press of Erwin's fingertips sure to leave bruises.

"I don't want to be their hero," he says.

Erwin vibrates above him, hand trailing up Levi's back to settle at his neck.

"Oh, Levi," Erwin says, voice so fond that Levi's heart is twisting. "Sometimes I think humanity doesn't deserve you."

Levi collapses onto his elbow, whatever response he had lost in the force of Erwin's thrusts. Erwin pauses though, pulls out, and maneuvers Levi up again so that his chest is against the back of the couch and he's more stable.

"There," he says, gentle now. "Hold on."

He settles behind Levi, a shadow, and pushes back in. Levi grips the top of the couch, knees planted firmly. Erwin fucks him like that, sandwiching him against the couch, hand sneaking between to stroke his cock firmly. Levi bucks against him.

"Shit, _shit_ ," he says.

"You can come again for me," Erwin says. "I know you can."

He shakes his head, frantic and desperate. 

"I can't. Fuck, I can't."

Erwin slides his free hand to Levi's lips, stilling him, finger slipping into his mouth. Levi can taste himself on Erwin's skin.

"Come for me," Erwin says, and presses his thumb against the head of Levi's cock.

Levi jerks forward, vision blurring, and then loses himself.

\--

He wakes up with his head in Erwin's lap. Erwin is stroking his hair, looking down at him fondly. It takes Levi a minute to realize they're still on the couch. He shifts, sore.

"You passed out," Erwin says.

Levi blinks heavily.

"You asshole." His voice sounds scratchy and wrecked. "How long was I out?"

He looks down at himself, the growing red marks from Erwin's fingers visible on his hips.

"Not long." Erwin cups his cheek. "How do you feel?"

"I'm fine," Levi says.

He curls into Erwin, nosed pressed to his stomach. He's exhausted, half-drunk still. He'll be sleeping in Erwin's bed tonight, usually does after something like this, Erwin holding onto him like a secret. But right now he doesn't feel like he can move, so he stays like this, Erwin's hand in his hair. Erwin favors him in a way that Levi doesn't quite understand yet.

"Some heroes we are," he says, quiet.

Erwin shifts, straining to lean down so he can kiss Levi. This feels like more of a reward than anything else and Levi pushes into it, hand tangling in Erwin's shirt like he can keep him there. Erwin pulls away though, but just enough for Levi to feel the warmth of his breath on his lips as he speaks.

"We're not heroes," he says. "We're only men."

Levi nods against him, relieved by it, thinking of the party, of the man's son who admires him so.

"Sometimes not even that," he says.

Erwin's hand stills in his hair and then drifts down over his neck to his chest, fingers splayed over his heart. Levi covers his hand with his own. Erwin moves and presses a kiss to that hand, Levi's gaze caught in his own.

"Sometimes," he says, and it sounds like a promise.

**Author's Note:**

> Didn't I just post fic last week what am I doing. Consensual punishment, though, yeah. These two are so messed up gosh I love them.
> 
> Comments and kudos always appreciated ♥


End file.
